TO: HENRY GONDORFF
FROM: JOHNNY HOOKER
RE: LUTHER SAID I COULD LEARN SOME THINGS FROM YOU. I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DRINK.
SO YOU'RE PROBABLY ASKING YOURSELF, 'WHAT THE FUCK DOES SOME CRACKER WITH THE RIGHT STUFF HAVE TO DO WITH THE GOD MC?'
BEFORE I EXPAND YOUR EVENT-HORIZONS, LET'S MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR LIKE TEARS ROLLING OFF AMIL'S CHEEK:
DON'T GO THINKING THAT THE BLACK ALBUM IS COMPARABLE TO WALKING ON THE MOON. I AIN'T DICK VITALE WITH A FLOWER POT ON MY HEAD. EVEN I'M NOT THAT HYPERBOLIC.
2) REST ASSURED THAT I DON'T THINK YOU MADE THIS ALBUM OPERATING UNDER THE PREMISE I'M ABOUT TO PARADE AROUND; BUT I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO THAT IF I LIMITED MYSELF TO THINKING ABOUT MUSIC THE WAY THE MUSIC MAKERS DO I'D BE BORED AS SHIT.
THAT BEING SAID, LIKE NEIL ARMSTRONG, YOU WENT SOMEWHERE, DID SOMETHING, THEN CAME BACK AND REALIZED YOUR ENTIRE CREATIVE LIFE HAD BEEN BUILDING TOWARDS A MOMENT THAT JUST PASSED YOU BY.
YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE FLOWN INTO A MOUNTAIN RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT DONE VICTORY LAPPING THIS ALBUM. FREEZE THE FRAME IT ALL AT THAT IDEAL MOMENT...
YOU SHOULD'VE IMPREGNATED THE WORLD WHEN YOU CAME THROUGH THE SPEAKERS, THEN LEFT US ALL A BUNCH OF BEWILDERED SINGLE MOTHERS WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT CONSTRUCT YOUR LEGEND.
BUT YOU WERE NEVER PUTTING "THINKING ABOUT THE LIL' PEOPLE" IN YOUR THINGS-TO-DO LIST.
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT? YOU AS MAN OF THE PEOPLE? NOT BY A HUEY LONG SHOT.
ON BLACK ALBUM YOU ONLY GAVE A FUCK ABOUT TWO THINGS: HOW YOU'RE HAIR LOOKED ON YOUR WAY OUT THE DOOR, AND WHERE WE'D RANK YOU IN THE GOAT POLL.
YOU WERE FIXATED ON YOUR FAREWELL AND WHETHER OR NOT WE GAVE A SHIT:
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE #1 ON EVERYBODY'S LIST/LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I KNOW LONGER EXIST.
THEY SAY THEY NEVER REALLY MISS YOU TIL YOU'RE DEAD OR YOU'RE GONE/SO ON THAT ON THAT NOTE I'M LEAVING AFTER THIS SONG
OKAY THEN, ROY HOBBES! THEN YOU GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT THE GAME AND LET US MISS YOU!
BUT THIS WASN'T ABOUT US. AND IT WASN'T REALLY ABOUT PROPS.
REMEMBER WHEN BIG WON THE SOURCE AWARD FOR READY TO DIE? REMEMBER THE SPEECH? "WE DID IT, BROOKLYN."
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY AT THAT PODIUM TODAY? YOU'RE MOVING, BROOKLYN!? THAT'S WHAT SEPERATES YOU FROM BIG AND PAC. WE DON'T FOLLOW YOU OR YOUR MOVES. WE FOLLOW THE WORDS. FUCK THE RATNER DOME. WE WATCH YOU BUILD RAPS GREATEST CATALOG; THE HITS, THE SLEEPERS, THE THROWAWAYS. YOU AINT JESUS; YOU'RE THE ONE MINUTE MAN.
BLACK ALBUM; IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR SELF-PENNED OBIT, RIGHT? JAY-Z THE HUSTLER/RAPPER IS DEAD.
LONG LIVE SHAWN CARTER; PRIVATE EQUITY MANAGEMENT'S PIMP.
SNEAKY MOTHERFUCKER. THE ONLY THING YOU KILLED WAS RAP.
IF BLUEPRINT WAS THE OTHER SIDE OF SHAWN AND B2 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALBUM AS EXTRAVAGANT AS YOUR TALENT THEN BLACK ALBUM WAS FOR THE LOVE...NOT OF THE GAME, BUT THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT.
THIS WAS ABOUT YOUR SIDE JAWN, THIS WEIRD ARTFORM THAT YOU ALWAYS RELEGATED TO SIDE HUSTLE STATUS. YOU WANTED TO SAW HOW FAR YOU COULD GO.
AND THEN YOU COME BACK TO EARTH AND KANYE'S ON SOME ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE ED BANGER CLUB NIGHT SHIT THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE NORMA DESMOND.
THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT TO SAY. AND ONLY A FEW PEOPLE--
UNDERSTAND THIS. ONLY A FEW HAVE WALKED ON THE MOON AND COME BACK TO SLEEP WALK THROUGH LAUNCH PARTIES AND GUEST SPOTS.
IT'S NOT THAT IT'S GOOD SO MUCH THAT IT'S DEFINITIVE. EACH TRACK PUTS MOTHERFUCKING TRACKMARKS ON WHATEVER ASININE SUB-GENRE WE DINGLEBERRIES WITH IBOOK'S HAVE COME UP WITH.
EVEN THE CUTS THAT ARE HOT GARBAGE MAKE A FINAL STATEMENT! LIKE 'MOMENT OF CLARITY' SOUNDS AS IF IT WAS PROGRAMMED BY SLOTH FROM GOONIES, BUT WHEN I THINK OF MALL-GOTH EMINEM PRODUCTIONS, I THINK OF THAT.
Marshall, you a rebel on this beat!
BY THE WAY, 'I'D PROBABLY, LYRICALLY, BE TALIB KWELI' DOG: YOU SAID THAT OUT LOUD.
ANYWAY...
10 DOLLARS I GET THIS ON ONE TAKE.
'DECEMBER 4TH' IS YOUR "FILM VERSION OF THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY AS TOLD TO ALEX ENGLISH, DIRECTED BY DAVE HOLLISTER."
SHIT MIGHT AS WELL BE CALLED THE DEAD MARCY SCROLLS. YOU WERE CONCEIVED UNDER A SYCAMORE TREE? HOW AWESOME! I WAS CONCEIVED RIGHT WHEN RUMORS CAME OUT!
AND LEST WE FORGET, YOUR NAME IS HOV! 'P.S.A.'...THIS JOINT MAKES ME AWARE OF MY OWN RESPIRATORY SYSTEM. SERIOUSLY, IT SOUNDS LIKE JUST RAN HIS DRUMS THROUGH A MARSHALL STACK AND THEN HAD SAIGON POUR A 40 OF HURRICAINE HIGH GRAVITY MALT LIQUOR FOR THAT JUST -BEEN-MUGGED/SOUNDS LIKE IT'S COMING FROM JOHN BONHAM'S CARCASS FEELIN.
'DIRT OFF YOUR SHOULDER', YOU COULD NEVER TOP '...PIMPIN'' AND NOBODY CAN TOP THE FIRST HALF OF 'COME AND GET ME.' YOU AND MS. ONE IN A MILLION ARE THE ROYAL COUPLE OF LAYING BACK IN TIM'S CUTS . YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN TO REMOVE THE ROOF AND LET YOUR RHYMES SHINE IN, AND WHEN TO POINT OUT THE BOUNCE.
SAME WITH 'CHANGE CLOTHES.' YOU CAN'T TOP 'GIVE IT TO ME' OR 'LA LA LA,' BUT YOU CAN SHOW ALL THESE THIRTY SOMETHING ADULT CONTEMPORARIES HOW PHARRELL'S YACHT-HOP SHIT SHOULD BE DONE.. BY THE WAY, I ALWAYS LIKED THAT LINE ABOUT THE AMERICA'S NEXT TOP CLAVICLE CHICK AND HOW THE WORLD HAS HER BACK UP AGAINST THE WALL BECAUSE ITS TENDER BUT THEN AGAIN, I'M A PUSSY THAT WATCHES THE HALFTIME SPEECH FROM FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS ONCE A WEEK JUST TO VERIFY MY ABILITY TO EMOTE.
'THREAT' IS DIFFERENT. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. 9TH PUT 'WOMAN'S THREAT' INTO SOME SHAREWARE MAD MASH UPS SHIT BUT IT STILL KNOCKS. AND YOU FUCKING TYSONED IT, DUDE. THIS TRACK MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THE JAWBONE JAWN AT THE END OF MILLION DOLLAR BABY.
'99 PROBLEMS' STARTED GETTING 'HEY-YA'D' FOR A WHILE SO IT'S HARD TO HEAR.
JUSTIFY KINDS KNOCKS EXCEPT FOR THE WILD HORSESHIT HOOK. MADONNA HOOK FROM HER CAREER NADIR? NICE MOVE, BOBBY FISCHER.
BLACK IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. ALLURE IS ON SOME 'NO THANKS, ILL JUST HAVE SOME VANILLA HAZELNUT TEA SHIT' WHICH I DIDN'T MIND AT THE TIME BUT IS NOW OBVIOUSLY A HARBINGER OF THE TURTLENECK AND MIXED GROWN SALAD SHIT YOU WOULD DUMP ON US LATER. AT LEAST ITS ABOUT SHAVING COKE INSTEAD OF BEACH CHAIRS. I MEAN, I PREFER BEACH CHAIRS, TOO. BUT I PREFER SONGS ABOUT COKE.
DECEMBER 4TH, WHAT MORE CAN I SAY, PSA AND 1ST SONG MAKE UP THE FUCKIN DEAD MARCY SCROLLS. AND THE THING IS, THROUGH ALL THAT 3D IMAX MYTH-MAKING, THEY'RE THE MOST PERSONAL VOLUME OF LIFE & TIMES OF S. CARTER. YOU WERE TRYING TO BUILD A STATUE, A LAMDMARK, AND YOU WOUND UP SKETCHING A SELF PORTRAIT.
AND THEN THERE'S' LUCIFER'
THIS SHIT CONTAINS MULTITUDES. NOT TO ROB MOTHERFUCKERS OF THEIR GRIEVING PROCESS, BUT THERE DOESN'T NEED TO BE ANY MORE DEAD HOMIES CUTS AFTER THIS BEAST.
KANYE'S A GENIUS RIGHT? I KNOW! HE TOLD ME, TOO!THE LOGICAL CHOICE WOULD BE TO TAKE 'CHASE THE DEVIL' AND GET ON SOME
BOOM-BYE-BYE SHIT. BUT NAH. YOU NEED AN ELASTIC BEAT BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT THE MANY FACES OF THE STREETS ON THIS CUT.
ON LUCIFER YOU MOURN; YOU BLASPHEME AND THEN YOU'RE PIOUS. BUT YOU'RE BROOKLYN'S FINEST WHEN YOU'RE PERFORMING SURGERY. AND YOU'RE BEST WITH A SCALPEL WHEN YOU'VE GOT A TEE TIME TO MAKE.
LIKE A SABBATICAL/THROW A COUPLE AT YOU/TAKE SIX.
HOLY WAR/HOLY WATER/SPRAY FROM THE HECKLER
INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR MAKER/CLOSER TO NATURE/ASHES/AFTER THEY CREMATE YOU.
YOU EVEN SLIP THAT SHIT IN ABOUT THE BLACK ALBUM'S SECOND VERSE BEING DEVIL'S PIE:
Now all the teachers couldn't reach me and my momma couldn't beat me Hard enough to match the pain of my pop not seein me...Then the Haven introduced me to the game. Spanish Jose introduced me to 'caine; I'm a hustler now My gear is in, and I'm in the in-crowd And all the wavy light-skinned girls is lovin me now My self-esteem went through the roof, man I got my swag' ...That came second to me movin this crack Give me a second I swear, I would say about my rap career 'til ninety-six came, niggaz I'm here - goodbye!THE ONE ABOUT DISDAIN IN YOUR MEMBRANE. ABOUT SPANISH JOSE INTRODUCING YOU TO COKE. ABOUT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM GOING THROUGH THE ROOF. THE LIGHT-SKINNED GIRLS. SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED.
THEN SHIT GETS DEEPER.
YOU MISS BOB IN YOUR HEART. BUT YOU CAN'T SAY IT STRAIGHT. YOU HAVE TO FLOSS; GOTTA SHOW US WHAT U GOT, RIGHT?
CURSE THE DAY THAT BIRTHED THE BASTARD WHO CAUSED YOUR CHURCH MASS. REVERSE THE BLAST, REVERSE THE CAR, REVERSE THE DAY AND THERE YOU ARE.
BUT THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE PUTTING DUDES ON RESPIRATORS, WOULD YOU? REALLY,YOU'RE MOST CONVINCING IN THE ROLE OF ASSASSIN. MAYBE LUCIFER'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT YOU.
IF THAT'S THE CASE, THERE'S THIS CAT YOU SHOULD MEET. LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS HIS NAME.
