Friday, February 09, 2007

EVEN THE COPS IN THE PLAIN CLOTHES SAID I CRUSHED IT

TO: SPANISH JOSE INTRODUCED YOU TO CAINE
FROM: NEVER DID NOTHING TO NOBODY BUT THOSE BOYS SHOT HIM
RE: USED CARS
























"I'm trying to see that Slum Village Dodge paper, Son! Get Low!"


BROTHERMAN, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW OLD THIS SHIT IS. BLEEK, MOP, FREE, PEEDI, AND YOUNG FUCKING CHRIS ("SIGNED FOR THE LAST THREE SUMMERS AND STILL BROKE BITCH"- 2004). WITH THAT SQUAD IT COULD BE ANYTIME THIS FUCKING DECADE RIGHT? I MEAN IF THIS SHIT WAS HIGH SCHOOL AND YOU SAW THAT CREW SITTING AT A TABLE IN CAFETERIA, YOU'D PROBABLY STARE DOWN AT YOUR JELLO AND WALK ON BY, ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR OLD RUNNING MATES, LEAVING THEM BEHIND TO TAKE SHOP CLASS WHILE YOU AND B. CHAIR THE PROM COMMITTEE.

OR WHATEVER.

OK. THERE'S A LINE IN THERE WHERE BLEEK IS FLOSSING ABOUT SITTING IN AN '04 COUPE WITH NO ROOF. A THREE YEAR OLD WHIP. 2004.

I ROLLED BY BASSLINE TO CHECK THE BIRFDAY OF THESE TAPES, OF THIS MONSTER MEETING OF THE RHYMES. I CAUGHT THE FOLLOWING EXCHANGE:

BLEEK: BROWWWWWWNSVILLE! WHAT'S UP, FAM! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!

DANZE: UH-HUH.

FAME: [stares beams of pure white hot hatred]

BLEEK: WE GONNA MURDER THIS SHIT! I GOT THIS RHYME, DOG. LEMME JUST GIVE YOU AN APPETIZER, "I GOT THE '08 COUPE WITH NO ROOF!"


DANZE: HOW YOU GONNA HAVE AN '08 COUPE, DIPSHIT?

FAME: YEAH, DR. WHO. HOW'S THE FUCKING FUTURE LOOKING? WE GOT AN ALBUM OUT YET?

BLEEK: I DON'T KNOW MY DAMN SELF! HOV BROKE ME OFF WITH ONE. IT STILL HAS THAT NEW CAR SMELL.

DANZE: HOV, HUH? YOU STILL CARRY THAT D-BAG'S MAN PURSE?

BLEEK: HE'S MY BENEFACTOR!

DANZE: YOU KNOW HOW THAT SHIT PLAYED OUT FOR US RIGHT?

BLEEK: THAT WASN'T A GOOD LOOK, MAN.

DANZE: IT WASN'T EVEN A GLIMPSE.

BLEEK: WORD.


FAME: WHAT?!

BLEEK: NO! I'M AGREEING! I AGREE!

DANZE: SO LOOKA HERE, COUSIN. YOU EVER HEARD OF REPARATIONS?

BLEEK: YEAH! KIND OF! WELL, I WENT BY RUSSELL SIMMONS' THE OTHER WEEK TO PICK UP SOME BOOK FOR PRESIDENT CARTER -- SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE? OR DEFECTIVE PEOPLE? ONE OR THE OTHER...

FAME: YOU GET 20 MORE SECONDS TO SPEAK THEN I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR SPINE OUT YOUR BACK LIKE PREDATOR DID THAT INDIAN DUDE.

BLEEK: WELL, HE WAS LIKE, "REPARATIONSREPARATIONS." I WAS THINKING OF THEM BARS THOUGH! NAHMEAN!? SO I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HE WAS ON ABOUT.


DANZE: WELL, M. EASY. WE DIDN'T GET SHIT FROM THE ROC. THE ROC FUCKED US UP. NOW I'M AT FUCKING CRUNCH 4 DAYS A WEEK EATING BAKED CHICKEN FOR DINNER BECAUSE CURTIS IS TRYING TO MAKE US CUT.

FAME: BAKED CHICKEN.

DANZE: SO WE GONNA TAKE SOMETHING BACK TODAY. WE TRIED TO
HOLLER AT DAME, BUT HE'S IN THAT SHOE MONEY BIZ NOW. WE TRIED TO HOLLER AT YOUR MAN, BUT HE DOESN'T CALL US BACK. FAME EVEN WROTE HIM A LETTER LAST TIME HE WAS IN THE TOMBS.

FAME: PASSES THE TIME.

DANZE: BUT YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING WE'VE GOT
TO JAY. AND YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING WE'VE GOT TO PAYBACK.SO HOW BOUT YOU RUN THAT '08 COUPE YOU GOT.

BLEEK: HA! WHAT?

FAME: 7,6,5...
[keys nervously thrown onto mixing board, perspiration, etc]

DANZE: AND YOU'RE GONNA PART WITH THAT PINK SLIP.

FAME: I AIN'T TRYING TO GET PULLED OVER ON THE BQE WITH NO PINK SLIP.

BLEEK: IT'S IN THE GLOVE. FUCK.

DANZE: WHAT?

BLEEK: FUCK AM I GONNA RHYME ABOUT NOW? THAT WAS MY FUCKING HOMERUN LINE RIGHT THERE. THE '08 COUPE!

DANZE: YOU GOT ANOTHER WHIP?

BLEEK: PIECE OF SHIT BEATER FROM '04 THAT I LET GEDDA K PUSH.

DANZE: WELL, COUPE AND ROOF KIND OF RHYME, WHETHER IT'S AN '04 OR AN '08.

BLEEK: OH SHIT!

DANZE: YEAH, YOU CAN HOLD THAT ONE.

BLEEK: SALUTE, MY DOG! LET'S SMOKE THIS DRO AND MAKE ANOTHER CLASSIC!


FAME: DANZE, THAT MEAN RED LIGHT?

DANZE: YEAH, DUKE. RED LIGHT. NO SPINE JACKING.

FAME: [sighs]

DANZE: YEAH, WE GONNA MAKE THIS SHIT POP. BUT, UM, I THINK PEEDI AND CHRIS WANNA HOLLER FIRST.













5 comments:

Andrew said...

You should put together a "Conversations Between Industry Neglected Rappers" book. Combined with the Joe Budden/Redman joint, this post is amazing. Fame as bad cop, Bleek's willingness/fatalism at getting run, Danze world weary plan: Genius!

Amos said...

This blog is fucking incredible

Amos said...

But I'd contest whether the word "d-bag" has ever crossed Billy Danze's lips.

Useff said...

Great.

ghengis blonde said...

you're a king, man.